Almost every friend group I was in had at least one friend bully me in private. One would only be hurtful online and on the phone and would “end the friendship” over nothing. But if he’s sorry then I’m forced to forgive him. No one believes he said he was never speaking to me again because they never saw it, it was on the phone.
Another was a stalker who deliberately copied everything I did and tried to rape me whenever she was alone with me in the bathroom, but I was the problem because I was the only person who had an issue with her. She was so pleasant and happy with everyone else but with me she was always angry and would do things she assumed I did, like watch anime and brag about how much anime she watched when I never watched anime and was a nintendo fan, something you’d know if you actually spoke to me. She also wore the same shirt and jeans every day without washing them as they were the closest thing she had to my clothes, and I didn’t wear anything Cool, just a plain blue shirt and navy blue jeans.
Then another tried raping me every day for months, would give up and dry hump or grope instead. I only made my clothes hard to undo since no one saw it so I must be lying. I eventually reported it, he got suspended, and everyone in the group ignored me ever since.
And on top of that I was alienated and bullied by family for existing.
If everywhere smells like shit check under your shoe. If you don’t have friends then the common denominator is you. If everyone’s an asshole then you’re the asshole, etc. Obviously if I go through this a lot I’m the problem.
My “picker” was broken for many years, so I have a bunch of crazy exes. The common denominator among them was me, but that doesn’t mean I was a bad person, just that I didn’t know what to look for when dating (plus I’m autistic and a bad judge of character). I did eventually have to work on that before I could start dating and trusting people again.
Just because you’re the common denominator doesn’t mean that you’re an asshole. Predators often seek out traumatized people, but you’ll have to work on making yourself a bad target for them if you want to avoid them. I’m sorry, it’s not fair.
FWIW I don’t think any of these statements are necessarily true.
Almost every friend group I was in had at least one friend bully me in private. One would only be hurtful online and on the phone and would “end the friendship” over nothing. But if he’s sorry then I’m forced to forgive him. No one believes he said he was never speaking to me again because they never saw it, it was on the phone.
Another was a stalker who deliberately copied everything I did and tried to rape me whenever she was alone with me in the bathroom, but I was the problem because I was the only person who had an issue with her. She was so pleasant and happy with everyone else but with me she was always angry and would do things she assumed I did, like watch anime and brag about how much anime she watched when I never watched anime and was a nintendo fan, something you’d know if you actually spoke to me. She also wore the same shirt and jeans every day without washing them as they were the closest thing she had to my clothes, and I didn’t wear anything Cool, just a plain blue shirt and navy blue jeans.
Then another tried raping me every day for months, would give up and dry hump or grope instead. I only made my clothes hard to undo since no one saw it so I must be lying. I eventually reported it, he got suspended, and everyone in the group ignored me ever since.
And on top of that I was alienated and bullied by family for existing.
If everywhere smells like shit check under your shoe. If you don’t have friends then the common denominator is you. If everyone’s an asshole then you’re the asshole, etc. Obviously if I go through this a lot I’m the problem.
My “picker” was broken for many years, so I have a bunch of crazy exes. The common denominator among them was me, but that doesn’t mean I was a bad person, just that I didn’t know what to look for when dating (plus I’m autistic and a bad judge of character). I did eventually have to work on that before I could start dating and trusting people again.
Just because you’re the common denominator doesn’t mean that you’re an asshole. Predators often seek out traumatized people, but you’ll have to work on making yourself a bad target for them if you want to avoid them. I’m sorry, it’s not fair.