• Maalus@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I lost a partner doing that. Like flipping a switch, any interest in me was gone. Was struggling with depression, we knew eachother for a very long time, even dated in the past. Oh well.

    • squid_slime@lemm.ee
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      6 days ago

      Fucking same, had just lost a mother figure my grand mother who I grow up with, never dealt with loss and had other things come into my life that exacerbated the situation. Anyway my ex split with me.

      Sucked as I was there throughout her losses. Silver lining she was an enabler who had me drinking more, not working out. and now I am healthier inside and out, taken on therapy which has allowed me to face my demons.

      Quote from my ex: “I like you more when you drank.”

      • elucubra@sopuli.xyz
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        5 days ago

        My exwife of 18 years dumped me when I went into a period of depression, fueled by the death of my father and a business failure. As soon as I ceased to be the rock, I became value less.

        I had been there for her for two serious bouts of depression.

        I have heard of similar things from friends. Men are not allowed to show weakness. Remember men were not supposed to cry until recently.

    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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      6 days ago

      It’s happened to me twice. Shit sucks. I guess you could say if they lose interest for crying in front of them they’re not good for you but I don’t exactly have women lining up to date me. If I’d known ahead of time I’d have kept my emotions to myself.

      • Maalus@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        I wouldn’t call it that. In the end, you aren’t responsible for what you like or dislike. And once you find someones “ick” that you can’t deal with, it’s hard to get over it. I have a bunch of those - racism, unwilingness to learn, regular smoking. Theirs was just “man crying”. Also, there is crying and then there is holding in emotions and exploding. Sadly, I’m guilty of the latter. I don’t really blame them, rather I feel disappointed more than anything.

        • SparrowHawk@feddit.it
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          6 days ago

          Having an ick for a loved one opening up to you is a red line for me. Not really justifiable by personal preferenze, but i understand your reasoning

      • Funky_Beak@lemmy.sdf.org
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        6 days ago

        Yeah patriarchy is a system and it poisons us all. Never stop being open to being vulnerable. It’s just unfortunate that some view it as weakness.

      • Reddfugee42@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Tons of southern women would literally lose their entire identity if their patriarchy disappeared tomorrow