ArtieShaw

Yeah - I remember reading about how these signs were laughably easy to “hack” a few years ago.

I thought about it for minute when the city installed one down the street. Then I imagined the weird shame I’d feel when my neighbors inevitably caught me, so never tried it out. Actually, in retrospect, they’d probably have helped.

Ouch. “This place is a shit show,” the judge said. (Not really, just fixed it for him).

To be fair, I read an article earlier today that said it’s nearly impossible to find a copy of the original. It was a low budget co-production and the distribution rights are murky. It claimed that if you’re lucky you can get a second hand DVD copy. Otherwise? Pirates?

Hopefully, this next sequel will prompt the re-release.

I suspect that dead saves more money. Biopsies are expensive and United Health does not like to pay for them.

Ah yes. The Oliver/Poochie character.

ETA: Or Scrappie Fucking Doo

Season six.

COSMO???

“2 Nazis in a car” is exactly my horrified emotion in the moment.

And it’s true that I didn’t word that correctly, but it happened 20 years ago so the words are not an exact quote. However, they do convey the gist of the conversation. And I really really wanted to make it clear that I’m not the original Nazi in the car.

I was getting a ride home from work with a colleague, which was nice of her because I usually took the bus. We had been friendly for some time, and I never understood why other people at work were creeped out by her. Sure, she could be cold and a bit intimidating in a stereotypical “immigrant from former eastern bloc country” sort of way.

I would compare her to a pretty, young, athletic and blonde Frau Verbissene. And she was not afraid to be comedically cutting. For example, one day I was mindlessly trying (and failing) to unscrew something and she walked up behind me and dryly said, “I am not native to North America, but in Europe we turn it to the left to loosen bolts.” It’s a little bit mean, but also funny.

But to the main point, it was that car ride when I found out she was a Nazi. OK - Maybe not an actual Nazi, but a big fan. She explained that in her country, <I’m paraphrasing this next bit, so her words> they had asked the Jews to leave, had tried to incentivize the Jews to leave, but the Jews would not leave. When the Germans came to her country, they fixed that problem.

“Oh. Shit. I’m carpooling with a Nazi.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tammy_Faye_Messner

Some people just like to fuck their shit up.

The kid is 18. Were y’all assuming he was older for some reason?

Holy shit. Warlock must be a thing with trucks? A year or two ago I was travelling to an unfamiliar city and the person at the rental counter couldn’t find my reservation. She asked, “the only vehicle we have available is a truck, is that OK?”

Whatever. Fine. The flight was delayed and I need dinner and a drink. I’m not going to be picky about a 2 day rental on a business trip.

Let’s just say that expectations were exceeded (in a WTF way) when I got out to space B29 in the parking garage and got my first view of The Warlock. It was pretty much this exact truck, but in a different color and with about 100 loose acorns in the bed.

The Warlock did make an impression on our clients when I rolled up to their office the next day. The conference room was close enough to reception that I could overhear the #1 question of the day as employees drifted in or out: “who’s driving The Warlock???”

I’ve always called it “map brain,” and am fascinated to watch people who don’t have that ability.

For example, my husband has been to the library and he has been to the grocery store. From home, he can get to either without any trouble. But if he’s at the grocery store and needs to go to the library? He’ll need to go home first. He just can’t visualize the steps if it’s a new path. He’s a brilliant guy, but he has a foggy brain map.

I’m pretty much the opposite, but what I love about GPS is that they’ll tell you which lane is optimal for the next exit. If it’s a new route, that’s super helpful.

Oh, those eyes. You are about to be murdered.

Out of idle curiosity about your username, I’d like to ask.

Dune, cryptography, or both?

That would be ideal. I’ve also seen a few with weirdly discrete foot pedals. I like that idea, although the ones I’ve encountered haven’t exactly nailed the design.

I unintentionally pissed off a bully during a floor hockey match in high school PE class. Long story, but I did something to make her angry - still no idea what it was - and in that moment she was screaming at me to apologize. I just recall her screaming “SORRY!!! SORRY!!!” at me during a game.

I didn’t realize I had done anything wrong. I was definitely not trying to be competitive or aggressive at a PE game, so WTF? But apparently, “It’s OK. Apology accepted” was not the answer she wanted. She lost her shit and I gained an enemy for the rest of senior year.

Fortunately - and this is the good outcome - she was the most incompetent bully I’ve ever encountered. Sure, she was mad AF and willing to hold a grudge in the way that only 17 year-old girls can do. But I had emerged from a hot crucible of actual fucking competent bullies years before this.

I was captain of the fucking Math Team, bitch. You think calling me “Nerd” is going to hit? Hell no. I own that.

Years earlier, I fought two of my former besties on a snow covered hill in the local park and my only regret was that I was wearing mittens that mitigated the damage to their faces. I’d do that again if I had to.

Point being - she couldn’t do me any harm. Laughing at her made her madder. That was the best part.

tl/dr: I accepted an apology from someone who wanted me to apologize to her, and I gained the most incompetent bully ever. It added some needed comedic relief to me and my friends during a stressful final year of high school.

This advice always gets downvoted, but it works for me. I’ll offer it for what it is.

When I lose something I’ll take a moment and politely ask the thieving house elves to give it back. Then I stop thinking or stressing about it. I usually find it within a day.

1. Throwaway comment that mentions a potato chip tin that’s not directly relevant to the comic
2. Top image results link to etsy and I’m not bothering to check the rules about that
3. It’s not hard to find
4. Never expected anyone to lose their shit about it

Excellent work, though

Ah - my depression era grandparents never threw things away. One reason: they could re-use the object if it were durable enough. And they did.

By the '80s (maybe earlier?) they were complaining about the culture of trash. Their survival instincts were telling them to save and re-use. Their shiny new culture was telling them to throw that shit away.

I won’t link it, but an image can be found easily. Right now I’m looking at a New Era Potato Chip canister that lives in my office. (It’s weird - seriously, google it. “Feast Without Fear.”) It’s still good for storing things.

I heard a version of this sentiment in 2016. I was sitting near a well-dressed elderly couple at the regional airport. The woman was on her phone, explaining her support for Trump. I’ll paraphrase.

“He knows so many rich people! He’ll appoint them to the government, and they won’t steal from it because they’ve already got so much money they won’t want to.”

I disagree with that statement for so many reasons, but that’s what she expressed. This opinion was boggling enough at the time that it stuck with me almost ten years later.