At this rate they’ll need to define and standardize what constitutes a dildo so they can ban the right things. At what length is a dildo dangerously concealable? Do fully vibromatic dildos need to be more strictly controlled? Is a cucumber a dildo, or an AOP (Any Other Phallus)? Should doctor’s offices hold dildo buybacks?

My gimmick is that it depends. On five days out of the week, some Basic meds, electronics, an Uncommon wireless headset, a Rare hat, but most importantly, a Legendary key card to a bank operations center. On one of those days in particular, it gets even better. Not only do I have the key card, but I also drop an Exotic Red Dragon walking stick, +1 Leather Bracers, 1-3 random Rare or better magic pendants, and an Exotic His and Hers Dungeon Divers Duffle containing 5 random sets of Uncommon or better polyhedral dice, 3 Books of Gaming, and 2 Player’s Notebooks.

Writing this post has made me feel rich and well equipped, even though I’m barely over minimum wage. Thank you, I guess, for helping appreciate what I have that much more.

Calling it a rival is generous, even before this shitshow.

Objective: Survive

I’ve heard they like spaghetti.