I can’t stand Coldplay—they’re like nails on a chalkboard to me. Except Viva La Vida. I listen to that one on repeat.

I mean, that’s a valid tactic too. See Comcast -> Xfinity

Sure I’m going to go over a waterfall as soon as I go around that bend in the river up there, but why should I get my canoe out of the water now? I mean, everyone knows if a problem is in the future it doesn’t really exist!

FYI, dude, it’s not in the future. Women are dying from miscarriages now. Racially-motivated assaults are on the rise now. Nazis are marching through the streets now. Orange Hitler and his Project 2025 cabinet wants to just bring this bullshit nationwide, and they will do so.

Okay, but, speaking as a woman, we try to explain these issues nicely, with gentle terminology and a big helping of ‘not all of you, but some of you…’ and we get ignored, dismissed, belittled, or flat-out gaslit.

So, we try going for the shock value to get you to at least pay attention instead of dismissing what we say as background noise or ‘us silly little women worrying our silly little heads over nothing’. And then we get told we can’t talk like that, that it’s insulting, that no man would listen because we’re belittling them, that it ‘doesn’t foster discussion’.

Although at least you heard us say something so many of us take it as a small win…

So, honest question. How do we explain it to you, so we don’t offend you, but you actually hear us? Actually get an idea of what it means to be afraid of footsteps behind us when we go out at night? To get leered at when all we’re trying to do is get a good workout at the gym? To have men just take liberties, like touching us, grabbing us? To not want to mention that we are a woman online, especially in gaming circles, because of the sexist bullshit and dismissive attitudes that will inevitably show up and run us out of a group we just want to be in because we like the game, damnit?

To weigh the decision to even make a post like this, because I know it will be brigaded and will attract sexist jerks who will try to shout me down? Or even attract stalkers who will follow me across instances to harass me?

Please, tell me how. Because we want you to understand. We don’t want to chase people away from discussions. But it’s so hard, and gets so discouraging…