I need a bigger truck in case I ever need to haul an armchair.

What do you mean you can fit an armchair into the trunk of a toyota prius?

I saw a lifted truck with two cab extensions and like 3 feet of bed.

“But diamonds are forever!” No they’re not, in fact, they’re actually flammable. *

*in an environment of pure oxygen

Instructions unclear: Went too far and now have neutronium.

When I’m late or in a hurry, sometimes that’s my response to crosswalks. I get honked at and yelled at a lot, but almost everyone stops because no one wants the liability of running over a pedestrian.

My high school used to serve pineapple, ham, and jalapeno pizza. It tasted pretty good.

There was someone trying to cross the crosswalk the other day, so I stopped (as the law dictates). 30 seconds of every other motorist in the other lane not yielding later I eventually just gave up and drove away. Legend says that they’re still trying to cross the road to this day.