I’m only alive because successfully killing myself is hard. Bernadette, she/her, smash bros addict, dog person, work addict, ruined beyond repair, stuck in the past. I will defend Amazon and Nintendo like they’re the parents I never had. They did, and will do, nothing wrong, ever.

  • 11 Posts
  • 31 Comments
Joined 1 month ago
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Cake day: November 11th, 2024

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  • Like the wind...@sh.itjust.worksto196@lemmy.blahaj.zonerule
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    10 hours ago

    That’s how it is in ABA schools today, and the trauma from literally being abused is blamed on aUtIsM, and the abused kids are kept there because it’s supposed to “help” when it’s literally causing issues the kid never had before they were put in there. Then the kid ages out at 21 and moves into a group home connected to the same facility, instead of living an actual life. They could have had jobs, real friends, spouses, children, degrees, businesses, and lives, but now they wait to die in a cruel ‘Truman Show’ like reality where they’re gaslit into believing they’re living the best life possible. Yeah, a life where the best thing you’ve ever experienced, a once-in-a-lifetime dream come true, was eating a hot pocket.

    Yeah I wonder why a seven year old who was shoved to the floor and sat on for looking at a clock was suicidal, must be the autism.




  • Almost every friend group I was in had at least one friend bully me in private. One would only be hurtful online and on the phone and would “end the friendship” over nothing. But if he’s sorry then I’m forced to forgive him. No one believes he said he was never speaking to me again because they never saw it, it was on the phone.

    Another was a stalker who deliberately copied everything I did and tried to rape me whenever she was alone with me in the bathroom, but I was the problem because I was the only person who had an issue with her. She was so pleasant and happy with everyone else but with me she was always angry and would do things she assumed I did, like watch anime and brag about how much anime she watched when I never watched anime and was a nintendo fan, something you’d know if you actually spoke to me. She also wore the same shirt and jeans every day without washing them as they were the closest thing she had to my clothes, and I didn’t wear anything Cool, just a plain blue shirt and navy blue jeans.

    Then another tried raping me every day for months, would give up and dry hump or grope instead. I only made my clothes hard to undo since no one saw it so I must be lying. I eventually reported it, he got suspended, and everyone in the group ignored me ever since.

    And on top of that I was alienated and bullied by family for existing.

    If everywhere smells like shit check under your shoe. If you don’t have friends then the common denominator is you. If everyone’s an asshole then you’re the asshole, etc. Obviously if I go through this a lot I’m the problem.








  • Like the wind...@sh.itjust.worksto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneRule
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    2 days ago

    I got my first android (Samsung Galaxy S3) in 2014, before I had a LG Rumor Touch. Both used micro USB.

    I was turned off from Apple anything after having an iPod as a gift and discreetly hating it. I was further turned off when I saw that an iPad is just an elongated iPod Touch rather than a Microsoft Surface which is literally a PC.


  • Like the wind...@sh.itjust.worksto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneRule
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    2 days ago

    You’re not onto anything so there’s no need to “hold on”. Several people did the same thing without some stupid disorder being The Reason Why.

    I pirated applications and games at 9 because remotely breathing in my family’s presence was the equivalent of screaming fire in a crowded theater. Why would I ask them anything when I can ask Google? Google won’t hit me, tie me to a chair, lock me in a basement, scream at me, spit on me, or take all my possessions indefinitely. Google also won’t tell professional child abusers what I searched so that can be used to emotionally abuse me more.

    Why would I ask people who would scream at me for asking for a 64¢ candy bar, about a $200 application? Why would I tell them about something illegal? That’s just asking for drama. But sure, some stupid ass puzzle piece Made Me So Smart and that’s why I pirated gamemaker and fl studio. The same puzzle piece that made me so (r word) and unfit for society that I needed to be locked away in an institution that dumbed me down into a dead weight.

    Also using a computer is as easy as playing a video game. The directions and definitions are straightforward. Some stupid puzzle piece didn’t made a kid know how to do something, the kid taught themselves by reading. Which the people pointing to some stupid puzzle piece can do as well, instead of reducing a human being to some stupid ass puzzle piece. Literally dehumanizing but I’m ready to be the problem, as a human asking to be treated as a human. Downvotes mean nothing.


  • Like the wind...@sh.itjust.worksto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneRule
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    2 days ago

    My only apple device was an iPod and it was the most cumbersome thing ever. Trying to put music on it on my own laptop was impossible as iTunes wouldn’t install. So I’d need to use someone else’s computer which would default to synchronizing their library with my device. So all my loser video game soundtracks will be on someone else’s device or their american sex music will be on mine. And those 33 pin or whatever Proprietary Cables broke if you breathed on it. Adding music was the closest thing to pulling teeth without actually pulling teeth.

    Getting an Android phone instead of an iPhone was literally like breaking free. I can manage my own files directly on the device. I can download apps from anywhere. I can download music without proprietary software and expensive fragile cables. Oh, right, and I can charge it with the same cable my old brick phone used, the one that came with my portable charger, and one that powered my USB fan. A Standard Cable. Ffs.







  • Like the wind...@sh.itjust.worksto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneRule
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    2 days ago

    No, include autistic kids. Exclude unwanted kids regardless of anything, they’ll skew the results. The unwanted neglected kids growing up with poppy playtime and skibidi toilet are going to program games for a job after being told to go away by their entire family. Everyone else wouldn’t have used computers as often because they were spending time with friends and family.

    Where there’s smoke, they pinch back.